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100 Best Pregnancy Quotes Funny

Pregnancy is probably life’s greatest miracle. Though it has a lot of challenges, the end result is definitely worth it. Sometimes it can be really hard being pregnant and therefore here we are with some pregnancy quotes funny to cheer you up. Here are the 100 Best Pregnancy Quotes Funny which every pregnant lady will relate to.

Our most popular baby quotes:

1. A pregnant woman is busy creating a new life inside her so don’t disturb her more often or get ready to meet a crazy she-beast.
2. Being Pregnant is like living life using cheat codes for 9 months

3. Pregnancy isn’t easy but it’s worth it

4. Never argue with a pregnant woman, she has two brains, you have one.

5. Happiness is carrying your whole world inside you.

6. There are many benefits of being pregnant like you don’t need any excuses to eat or pee. 

7. Pregnancy stretch marks are nothing but pregnancy service stripes. 

8. It takes a lot of talent to not to pee when you sneeze during pregnancy. 

9. Pregnant women can easily become millionaires. They just need to charge $5 per belly rub.

10. One of my favorite advantages of being pregnant is that I can eat as much as I want. 

11. Never ever eat the last piece of anything while eating with your pregnant lady. 

12. My pregnancy is proof that birth control is not 100% effective.

13. The most productive part of a pregnant woman’s body is her bladder. 

14. Wow! My 9 Months of pregnancy went by very fast, said no one ever.

15. Getting pregnant is never a surprise. I mean you had sex without protection, what were you expecting, a Plasma TV. 

16. I love to freak people out. Whenever they congratulate me about being pregnant, I reply “For What?”

17. Who said a month can have a maximum of 31 days? The ninth month of pregnancy is as long as a thousand days. 

18.If your friends are getting pregnant on purpose, you are getting old. 

19. The best feeling is when after 9 months of pregnancy you see a piece of your heart outside your body.

20. A woman’s belly has construction going on inside it during pregnancy. 

21. What’s the first thing that comes into a pregnant lady’s mind when she is alone in the kitchen and drops something? 
“Do I really need that?”

22. Pregnancy is a condition which makes you pee whenever you laugh and puke whenever you cough. 

23. I never ask a woman if she is pregnant when her belly looks bigger to me because I feel afraid, What if she is only fat? 

24. Pregnancy: A disease which lasts for 18 Years and 9 Months

25. What if men also used to get pregnant? Abortion would probably have been a religious ritual by today. 

26. I am not Fat, I am Pregnant.

27. I’m growing a new life inside me what you doing?

28. How to make your husband your personal servant for nine months? Get pregnant. 

29. You can never feel much happier than the moment when you get to know that your family is going to grow by two feet.

30. The reason some woman get pregnant is only that it gives them nine months of no periods. 

31. There is a stage in pregnancy when people get confused between congratulating you and advising you for a gym membership.

32. Telling the world about your pregnancy is like shouting “I had unprotected Sex”.

33. Pregnancy during winter is like getting your hairs done and then hide it by wearing a Cap.

34. Exercising during pregnancy is like eating cabbage during your cheat days

35. Going to your high school reunion gives them an idea that it is all that you have been doing since you graduated.

36. Pregnancy is a celebration for the family, disaster for the career, and a calamity for the husband.

37. A husband always gives attention to his pregnant wife on every sound she makes whether it’s a moan or a smelly fart. 

38. Pregnancy is God’s way of telling women that now its time to officially enslave your husband for the next nine months.

39. Did you know that “diaper” is “repaid” when spelled backward? 

40. I am not waddling, it’s my pregnancy swag.

41. The worst thing after completion of nine months of pregnancy is most probably the singing of the newborn baby’s mother.

42. People rub a pregnant lady’s belly like she is a Buddha and rubbing her belly will bring happiness, prosperity and good luck for them. 

43. Do women feel jealous when they get to know that their baby’s body fat is only 2-3%?

44. You can think of pregnancy like waiting time for a flight except you don’t know who you are waiting for and at what exact time the flight is arriving.

45. If you think it’s easy to roll over in bed, try asking an eight-month pregnant lady about it.

46. A pregnant lady’s daily meals include pre-breakfast, breakfast, lunch, pre-dinner, dinner, dessert, dessert number 2.

47. Growing a tiny human inside you is one of the most exhausting things in the world.

48. Not every pregnant lady’s glow is pregnancy glow, in some cases, it is detox glow too. 

49. Don’t just assume that pregnant women can’t do anything, they are just pregnant not brain damaged.

50. Pregnancy is like having company inside your body for nine months.

51. Be aware of the fat ladies at the subway, they can just put their hand on their tummy and pretend to be pregnant to steal your seat. 

52. Whenever somebody asks me to do something I don’t like during pregnancy, “pregnancy brain” is my first excuse. 

53. It’s hard for pregnant women to sleep because someone else uses their tummy for their own bounce house.

54. Pregnant women don’t drink alcohol but still, they get hangover every morning.

55. Pregnancy lasts nine months but the joy of being a mom lasts forever.

56. A pregnant woman’s bra size go up about every four weeks.

57. I never knew superheroes can feel tired all the time and are not allowed to lift heavy weights until I got pregnant.

58. It’s a great feeling when all of your friends are on diet and working hard in the gym while you are at home relaxing and eating your favorite meals all the time because you are pregnant.

59. If heartburn during pregnancy really meant that you will have a hairy baby, all my kids would have looked like Chewbacca.

60. Pregnant: Baby Loading

61. I don’t understand when people say that they are expecting a baby, Are they not sure about it? Because to me, it sounds like “We are expecting a baby but it can be a velociraptor too.”

62. If you didn’t know, drinking alcoholic beverages before getting pregnant can cause pregnancy.

63. Success is very much like pregnancy. Everyone congratulates you for it but only you know how many times you got fucked before achieving it.

64. Roses are red violets are blue, inside me two hearts are beating just for you.

65. Wanna know the easiest way to win an argument? Get pregnant.

66. It’s crazy when men give advice to pregnant women. There should be a law about it like ‘No Uterus, No Opinions’.

67. I’m not crazy, just pregnant.

68. I think I’m pregnant with a boy because whenever I pick up the remote, he kicks me.

69. Congratulations on being pregnant. Finally, you have something to blame your weight gain.

70. If you don’t know the meaning of Peezing, you have never been pregnant.

71. Every woman’s boobs, ass, belly, and even feet get bigger during pregnancy while what she really wants is a bigger bladder.

72. Feeling the movement of life inside you is probably the best feeling in the world which only women are allowed to feel.

73. The only time a woman feels happy about someone kicking her is when someone kicks her from inside her belly.

74. Are you not pregnant yet? Celebrate by having some unprotected sex.

75. Touch a pregnant woman’s food only if you are ready to have her baby for her.

76. Please be nice to the men whose wives are pregnant.

77. Hungry, tired, Nauseous, Can’t sleep, Thrilled, Terrified, PREGNANT.

78. You know you are pregnant when you wear a maxi pad because you are afraid you may sneeze.

79. If you have never been happy for feeling like crap, wait until you get pregnant.

80. I heard that pregnancy turns normal women into crazy she-beasts. But I wonder what happens to those who already are.

81. The only shoes a pregnant woman can wear on her own in January are Flip Flops.

82. Do you want to know what it’s like to be a human submarine? Get Pregnant.

83. I’m Pregnant, I’m always tired or hungry or sometimes both.

84. Pregnancy tests should read this: Keep Screwing! (For Negative) or You’re screwed! (For Positive)

85. Don’t ask a pregnant lady why she is crying because she also may not know the answer herself.

86. Pregnancy: The only blind date where you know that you’re going to meet the love of your life.

87. Pregnancy is the only adventure which you enjoy despite a lot of peeing.

88. Pregnancy is a period of time when you get to experience both heaven and hell.

89. Pills are the second best thing that women can put in their mouth in order to prevent pregnancy.

90. Being pregnant, I’m feeling tired of turning food into a living being.

91. The only difference between a Terrorist and a pregnant woman is that you can at least negotiate with a terrorist.

92. The only difference between a Pregnant lady and a lightbulb is that you can at least unscrew a lightbulb.

93. The only part of Biology pregnant women are afraid of is the Sea Section.

94. When is the right time to ask a woman if she is pregnant? Never, I repeat Never.

95. My wife is pregnant and her pregnancy breasts are calling me to make her pregnant again.

96. Enough food for a party is enough for a pregnant woman.

97. A growing tummy means your family is going to grow.

98. Sometimes I wish to be pregnant again so that I can eat for two.

99. I’m pregnant, what’s your superpower?

100. Your heart size increases during pregnancy to pump that extra blood inside your body to craft a new baby.

Hope you liked our collection of 100 Best Pregnancy Quotes Funny.

Show your humorous side with any of these funny pregnancy quotes to your pregnant wife or a friend or if you’re pregnant yourself you can put them as your status on social media to let people know how much you are enjoying pregnancy.